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| In life we have a choice to make, you can either make excuses, or you can make a difference. And I personally am tired of feeling like it's a crime to care. That's all. That's all. | | |
| I've been reading The Hadj, by Michael Wolfe, a book about an American Muslim who made a pilgrimage to Mecca. It is a fascinating book and I've been learning a lot about Islam that I think really applies perfectly to loving Jesus also. Wolfe is new to the religion and so he is continually meeting new people giving him advice on being a Muslim. Here a few of my favorites.
"God is the way things are, but people are lazy. Even religion requires imagination! Instead, you get ventriloquists and dummies, a few men with something to say and the rest repeating it. Be careful! Orthodox minds are the most primitive."
"Islam is not a rocket. It's more like finding a perfect slice of orange. The question is, once you see it, what will you do? You can write a book on the beauty of its skin, you can praise its perfection, but that may only make a person shy. When I see the orange, I want to put it in my mouth. The kind of thinking you're doing stalls the process... I'm a computer programmer, I have a good brain. But I don't try to eat with it. I chew with my mouth, tu vois? Of course, the brain would like to do it all. The brain is an incessant volunteer. I admire its versatility, but is wasn't designed to do everything. You can't drink soup with a fork, par exemple. To eat the orange, you need a straight path to it. Passing through the brain is just a detour."
Too many Christians analyze their religion to death always discussing doctrines and what's right or wrong for "good Christians" and they never just live their beliefs. They just debate and obsess over apologetics and try to prove others wrong. Just shut up and eat the orange! The orange that you were given to eat, not the one some ventriloquist tells you eat! | | |
| Life's been wierd and I've been a moron. It's Friday and I feel like this week didn't even happen. I could blame it on a girl - but that would be too cliche. I could blame it on God - but that would be too easy. I could blame it on my parents - but that would be too arrogant. I could blame it on the apathy of the world - but that would be too vague. So I guess it's just been one of those weeks. My roommates have both been sick but I haven't been in the room enough this week to care. My neck has been killing me but I have no one to massage it. It's been one of those weeks where I see someone walk by and notice that they have the softest eyes, so I spend the day wishing that they were my friend. Wishing that I could look into those piercing windows to the soul and have a meaningful conversation that would give me hope. Wishing that I could take a picture with them, our arms around each other's shoulders, all smiles. I'd hang the photo on my wall and look into their friendly eyes when I get annoyed doing everything else. But then I realize that I'm never around anyway, so I'd never just be sitting to look at that photo on the wall. I'd forget those eyes and that perfect friendship would fade into obscurity. And the thing is, I love my friends that I have. I love my friends more now that I have for a long time. But I'm creepy and sometimes I just want a friendship that consists of nothing but staring into each other's eyes and dreaming. I'm not even talking romance, some people just have incredible flippin eyes. Eyes that speak in sonnets and epics and colorful poems about the meaning of life. Eyes that I crave to paint, and photograph with my zoom lens, and draw with my prismicolors. Eyes that dance in the rain and sing to the thunder. And make me want to do the same. I've spent my week searching for those eyes and finding them in strangers that I'll never know. Strangers who with one look have inspired me. Consumed me. That's been the week that I've had. When I think of it in terms of all of the things I had to do, the meetings I had to attend, the papers I had to sign, it seems like one big week full of everything forgettable. But this week, I saw more. | | |
| Hey, check out my new xanga site where I will be posting images of my recent works of art - creation4creation. | | |
| You know, with all this thinking about what I'm gonna do with my life, I think maybe I'll just be homeless. I think it would be really worthwhile to just experience homelessness for a little while. Last night I participated in the homelessness awareness event here on campus and really had a good time, but also a really enriching time. I spent the night in a cardboard castle on central campus, mostly destroyed by the storm that passed through earlier in the night, but there was still plenty of room for me and a dozen Catholics. As we discussed the situation of homelessness in Story County and in the U.S. and heard accounts of people who had experienced it in reality, I thought, what's so bad about being homeless? I think that it's simply the lack of dignity that really takes a toll on people. In this nation, there are opportunities to find decent food and sleeping in a box really isn't that bad. I think that the family that you would create as a homeless person with others in that situation would really be interesting. Homeless people have some of the most intriguing stories to tell and theories on life to share, and I think we could learn a lot from them if we allowed ourselves to. I'm really kind of jealous of the brutal reality that the homeless live. I find that kind of existence more desirable than this plastic fairy-tale we delude ourselves into playing along with when we have money. Last night, just laying on the damp cardboard with the thunder rattling the plastic outside, without the distraction of computers, or tvs, or iPods, or comfort, I was able to just be. Simply be. And I loved it. Who says we need a home? I need life. I think I'll go tell Mom & Dad this Easter that I've decided what I'll do with my life. I don't know if they ever believed that I could take a step down from being an art major, wanting to be homeless may just do the trick.
On a different, but related note, I've loved hanging out with the Catholics lately. They kind of rock my face off. I think most of them don't even realize that I'm not Catholic. They haven't noticed that I don't do the whole hand thing at the end of our prayers. But I'm really enjoying the fellowship that they provide and are recently allowing me to be a part of. They know what they care about - and they do something about it. You don't find that often. It's usually mostly talk, but they know how to put their words into action. I'm kinda bummed that it's taken me this long to get connected with these rock stars. It's also awesome that at this point, this is just one thing that's giving me a little excitement about being here, in this hellhole. (Hail Mary!? - Nah, I'm not gonna go that far) | | |
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